Ruth Wijaya

Have you ever fall in love with shadow? Suddenly, she sent me a short message like that. Maybe she was in love. Maybe.
Who is that person? Perhaps she just misses her past.

I replied, I fell in love with the Sun, warm at this distance, but I did not have the gut to approach it.

She did not replied. Apparently, the shadow has passed from her mind. However, a few days later she sent me a message again, she said, “the shadow follow you wherever you go”

I said, shadow appears during dark so just try to fall in love with the Sun. Sun gives you light, makes you warm and send away the shadow if you stand under the light.

Yeah, and the Sun will burns you if you try to hug it.

Yeah, and shadow annoying you, follows you everywhere, lurking behind the dark.

The Sun leaves you at night while shadow appears and follows you at night. You will never alone.

Sun stays at night, I tell her slowly; it reflecting the light through the Moon.

No. You cannot do that, looking for Sun through the Moon. Love cannot be replaced.

I laugh; I was just trying to find words that match with your romantics thought. I am still fall in love with the Sun. A thousand Moon cannot replace the Sun.

Still, Sun cannot hug you.

Can you hug the shadow?

She goes silent and disappears for days. Then suddenly she came again with the question, why did you fall in love with the Sun?

Because it kept me warm. Why did you fall in love with shadows?

Because it always with me, there will always be a shadow over little light. Even in the dark dense, I know the shadow always follows me.

I thought, it was because of the shadow and you are feel the same.

I think so. Is the shadow feel the same way I feel?

Does the Sun have a feeling?

The Sun can be considered like that, you say … she is warm.

This time we had longest silence. She did not sending me any message until a few days later.

Maybe it is the time shadow melting under the Sun.

I smile, do you know?

I am a grown up. Do you know?

I always living as shadow. How do you know?

She laughs; the shadow! You always told me that I am warm. Why you keep distance with me?

I sigh, because you are the Sun.

Then like want to make point in every word she said, she whispers it in capital, let’s fuse the shadow in the Sun.

An old notes from 2014.