Ruth Wijaya

What’s better to do if you cannot sleep at midnight? Correct. Write a blog post. Well, I’m trying to keep the promise (to myself) that I will write regularly and to add the challenge, let’s do it in English.

I don’t know what I’m doing, for sure, but life is like that. Challenges meant that we are alive. Our existence depends on how we survive the challenge. Not necessarily win it, as no one will ever win and get out alive from this life.

Ouch. You can cringed on that cliché, like I always do.

However, most of the time purposely I rely on that cliché skill to get over the pain. Life is painful. Sucks & painful. I think I wrote about that a lot.

Life is also confusing.

Bad things. Good things. Wise man said, yin & yang. Bad is not always negative, and good not always about love, happy and all those positivities. I’ve learned (in painful way, literally) that bad accident can lead you to open good opportunities. Yet, at the same time, it also giving you bad break-up. No, not a romance… I’m giving up already for sometime, so I never started new ones. It will never works. Friendship break up also painful, but you can’t force people to stay. I was like inside the shell when all these events happened; it was like seeing myself fixing some parts and destroying other part in slow motion. Crazy.

Madness. I shouldn’t write while I’m swinging at the edge of it but diving in to madness is not always a stupidity, right? Maybe, well… maybe… I will find something extraordinary at the center of storm?! Maybe chaos can be inspiring; it is not a ladder.

I know, I better sleep. My head start pounding, no… not my heart, it dead already. It’s my head, rumbling spinning and I need sleep but I couldn’t. I’m not drunk but writing like one.

Ah, when all of these are over?

Sigh.