a solitude bubbles
While having my afternoon walk, and my mind goes wandering to dream and reality, suddenly it hit me, who am I competing with?
All the time, I joke that: we never win from life as no one will ever get out from it alive. No one. Okay, I will not debate with bible’s famous stories of Enoch and… of course Jesus. Right?! Death is certain for all human being. Face it, we are not saint or special prophet or Son of God. We are just like other millions, spec of dust.
Continue reading “Winning Life”Dua hari yang lalu, saya terkikik geli sendiri ketika saya berdoa, Tuhan… ayolah… Tuhan kasih aku yang ini atau yang itu, pokoknya salah satu dari dua itu… Tuhan udah nggak mengabulkan permintaanku yang kemarin, nah yang sekarang satu ini dong… salah satu, please…
Eh elu siapa Joniiiii?! Dan Tuhan yang mana yang sedang kau ancam?
Continue reading “Menggoda Tuhan”Saya masih hidup! Sungguh, berita penting saat ini adalah: sehat dan hidup. Hal lain nampaknya jadi kurang penting. Sebelum tahun 2020, mengabarkan masih hidup itu seperti bercandaan kasar… maka di tahun ini, kabar hidup dan sehat… betul-betul menjadi kabar baik.
Continue reading “Separo 2020”… I can’t live.
You sing. You lose. Hahaha.
I don’t know how to start writing. I want to draw but I cannot pick up pencil. Seriously, for hours, I just sit, holding pencil and don’t know how to start my drawing. I know well what I want to draw. I couldn’t start it. Lyfe moves fast. A roller coaster life still on going.
I’m suck with words, but I’m trying.
Continue reading “With Or Without You”Almost midnight when the plane taking off, and outside I can see million lights of your city. In few seconds, I completely flying over your city. There one light among those million is yours; you and your lover now. I still feel cold pain slicing my left chest spreading to my back whenever I remember you. I couldn’t help it. I should able to stop to think about you by now but every second, memories flooding and reminds me of you. The harder I tried, the more it keep coming back.
Continue reading “Million Lights”Have you ever fall in love with shadow? Suddenly, she sent me a short message like that. Maybe she was in love. Maybe.
Who is that person? Perhaps she just misses her past.
I replied, I fell in love with the Sun, warm at this distance, but I did not have the gut to approach it.
Continue reading “I’m Chasing A Shadow”What’s better to do if you cannot sleep at midnight? Correct. Write a blog post. Well, I’m trying to keep the promise (to myself) that I will write regularly and to add the challenge, let’s do it in English.
I don’t know what I’m doing, for sure, but life is like that. Challenges meant that we are alive. Our existence depends on how we survive the challenge. Not necessarily win it, as no one will ever win and get out alive from this life.
Continue reading “A Sigh”Life is sucks. In so many ways it fvcking sucks. My mind all over. It messy and ugly. My life is sucks.
Positivity is overrated. Fvck positivity. I live in madness. It never settled. Jumping around. Fear. Jealousy. Worries. Sadness. Madness. I don’t even know why I should live and what is the point of life?
Continue reading “Grateful”Saya pernah ngetwit begini: karena Tuhan adalah Sang Maha Segala, maka Ia juga Maha Humoris. Lalu twit saya disambar oleh rang orang tak dikenal yang marah-marah karena saya dianggap menyamakan Tuhan dengan Sule. Egimana sih ini?! Kaaan… Tuhan Maha Humoris pan?! Bisa aja lho, Dia mempertemukan saya sama rang-orang random macam gitu.
Hello old friend, Death greeted me.
Oh, have we met before?
Don’t you remember? We met few times.
I was flying too close to the Sun.
It burned my wings; threw my life to the sea, I met another life instead of cold and dark death.
Blue sky has become a grey memory while I cherish the colorful new life under the sea.
Dive with me.
We are two strangers, accidentally met at this terminal. Then talk to each other, having coffee also sharing bites on a slice of chocolate cake. My choice, dark one.
I like your companion, you seems fun. A fun stranger. You have sweet smile, good smells. I think, I can kiss you. I will decide later.
You know your destination already.
Continue reading “Departure”Ya kalau lagi bokek terutama, saya selalu bilang dalam hati, ya Tuhaaaan…. mbokyao tolong aku ini dikasih rejeki, uang banyak jadi mau ngapa-ngapain gampang! Tolong ya Tuhan, kasih hambaMu ini rejeki… trus ngarepnya, ujug-ujug pas buka tas, terdapat bergepok-gepok seratusan ribu gitu. Kan namanya aja ngayal.
Few days ago, I text my friend and asked him to have drinks with me. Then he asked, “are you sad so you asked to meet me?” I laughed, “do I always asking you to meet when I’m sad?” He replied, “you always drunk whenever you sad and you always sad after. Wait, I don’t know which one comes first but just want to make sure that you are okay”
I thought, I am always this happy go lucky person. Indeed, I keep the eternal sadness just to keep my happiness in control. I don’t know if it makes sense, but life is not always about happiness. We need sadness to define what happy is. No, it is not depression in my case. Hm… no, I don’t think so. Constant sadness just to keep me grounded, less bubbly.
Ah, whatever… maybe I just need to write it down.
Dengan memegang teguh prinsip biar lambat asal selamat, pertama-tama saya ucapken: Selamat Tahun Baru 2019, semoga kita semua tetap sehat, rejeki makin moncer, jaya dan bahagia selalu. Amin.
Lagipula, tak ada kata terlambat untuk doa baik. Betul tidak? Betul dong.
Continue reading “2019 Telah Tiba”Of course, I’m in for this game. What’s more fun rather that judging men from his look and decide to swipe it right or left? The power on my finger!
Left right left right left right match keep swiping left left left right left right right match keep swiping, and you consumed few giga from your data. Just wasted time but it does work for some people. Continue reading “Tindergame”
Few days ago, I met a girl, who I knew from blog. We were being in contact for quite a while since Meike contacted me to be one of her respondent for her thesis but this is our very first meeting. As Meike read my blog and vice versa, we just hit off like old friend, wait, just like older & younger sisters. Hahaha… despite the fact that Meike is more than a decade younger than me, our conversation was smooth and time passed so fast. It was really nice to meet you, Mei. Continue reading “For Sale: Love & Relationship”
There are memories force to stay in your mind though you want to forget it and there are memories slipping fast like you are holding sands in your hand; the harder you hold it, the faster it slipped. How our brain works always fascinating. How it categorised memories, which folder for the new data come in and keywords to call back the memory. Continue reading “Memory is The Enemy”
