a solitude bubbles
Life is sucks. In so many ways it fvcking sucks. My mind all over. It messy and ugly. My life is sucks.
Positivity is overrated. Fvck positivity. I live in madness. It never settled. Jumping around. Fear. Jealousy. Worries. Sadness. Madness. I don’t even know why I should live and what is the point of life?
Continue reading “Grateful”Saya pernah ngetwit begini: karena Tuhan adalah Sang Maha Segala, maka Ia juga Maha Humoris. Lalu twit saya disambar oleh rang orang tak dikenal yang marah-marah karena saya dianggap menyamakan Tuhan dengan Sule. Egimana sih ini?! Kaaan… Tuhan Maha Humoris pan?! Bisa aja lho, Dia mempertemukan saya sama rang-orang random macam gitu.
Hello old friend, Death greeted me.
Oh, have we met before?
Don’t you remember? We met few times.
I was flying too close to the Sun.
It burned my wings; threw my life to the sea, I met another life instead of cold and dark death.
Blue sky has become a grey memory while I cherish the colorful new life under the sea.
Dive with me.
We are two strangers, accidentally met at this terminal. Then talk to each other, having coffee also sharing bites on a slice of chocolate cake. My choice, dark one.
I like your companion, you seems fun. A fun stranger. You have sweet smile, good smells. I think, I can kiss you. I will decide later.
You know your destination already.
Continue reading “Departure”Ya kalau lagi bokek terutama, saya selalu bilang dalam hati, ya Tuhaaaan…. mbokyao tolong aku ini dikasih rejeki, uang banyak jadi mau ngapa-ngapain gampang! Tolong ya Tuhan, kasih hambaMu ini rejeki… trus ngarepnya, ujug-ujug pas buka tas, terdapat bergepok-gepok seratusan ribu gitu. Kan namanya aja ngayal.
Few days ago, I text my friend and asked him to have drinks with me. Then he asked, “are you sad so you asked to meet me?” I laughed, “do I always asking you to meet when I’m sad?” He replied, “you always drunk whenever you sad and you always sad after. Wait, I don’t know which one comes first but just want to make sure that you are okay”
I thought, I am always this happy go lucky person. Indeed, I keep the eternal sadness just to keep my happiness in control. I don’t know if it makes sense, but life is not always about happiness. We need sadness to define what happy is. No, it is not depression in my case. Hm… no, I don’t think so. Constant sadness just to keep me grounded, less bubbly.
Ah, whatever… maybe I just need to write it down.
